Thursday, August 30, 2007;
stop pushing me away. im trying to show you that i care for you but all you say is 'im ok' or 'its a long story'. DUH. i know you're not ok. and i know its long. i keep telling you i want to listen and hear it all and be able to comfort you. arrg. and it makes me even more frustrated that you dont want to tell me then say that i dont want to listen. im already trying to show you that its ok. im going to listen.
i want to be there for you.
i want to be part of your life. but i cant do that if you wont let me. i cant do that if you keep telling me you're ok when you're not. i cant do that when you keep pushing me away.
stop pushing me away. im told you i want this to work. i told you i wont give up. but cant you at least show me that you want this too? i need you to show me that you're willing to fight for us too. that you're willing to make things work. i dont want to give up but i dont want to make things work when you dont want to anymore. i need you to help me too. im trying to be there for you. im trying to be better. im doing my best here. you know how hard it is to know that you have a problem. and you know its hard for me to know that the person i hate is the one you love and also the one that causes you pain. but im sacrificing already. im trying to accept already. this hurts me alot. just knowing what happens between you guys hurt me sooo much. but i just try to accept and forget my feelings of hate about the one you love. i try to keep an open mind and accept that this person makes you happy too.
i need you to show me that you appreciate the effort im giving. i need you to show me that you're willing to make things better.
i need you to show me that you want this to work as much as i do.
still stuck on you
7:09 AMY
i dont really know how to say what i say to say but im trying so bear with me. i have this topic in mind but i dont know how to elaborate. anyway. bear with me..
in every class i've been in, we always say 'this is the best class ever' or something like that. that happens every year. it changes every year.
argg. i seriously dont know how to say it.
every year, you can say those words. its ok. but what you cannot and should not do is forget the love and the bond that has been formed between you guys. you just learn to love your new class. its natural. you cant keep on holding to something that you know is gone or different. you have to accept what you have and where you are in now. accept it. love it. but just dont forget the lessons and the bonds and the experiences that happened in your old class.
i miss my old class. i really do. i miss my classmates. my adviser. i miss the happiness and sadness. the triumphs and disappointments. i miss the bond we made. they will always stay with me. but honestly, i am learning to love my new class. i really am. i love the way we are. the spirit we have. the determination. the way we see the positive than the negative. and the way we move on even after disappointments and just tell each other 'we'll do better next time'
i am learning to love my new class. and i dont think that's wrong. or bad. but i do miss my old class.
..i have no idea what i just said. im not sure if i explained myself but whatever. im tired.
<333
still stuck on you
6:47 AMY
Monday, August 27, 2007;
..i cant believe you talked to me. why? why did you have to do that? i am in the process of being sooo over youu. of being so done with you. with my feelings for youu. but NOOOOO, you had to talk to me. and to top it of, you asked me about my 'bestfriend'! ! ! what was that about? why couldnt u just ask her?
..you just talked to me to find out if my 'bestfriend' still had a thing with a person i know! ! !
..are you doing that on purpose or sumthing?
..i hate you. you you you.
still stuck on you
5:15 AMY
Saturday, August 25, 2007;
..this is my first post in this very new blog of mine. i dont really have any plans of telling my friends about this blog because i just really want a blog where i can say
ANYTHING i want.
ANYTHING i feel. i dont want to be scared about what people would say.
..i just really want to say anything. and this is where its gonna happen.
still stuck on you
8:32 AMY
